Let’s Havana A Fun Time ✈️

Where Emma wonders about travel

Hello, my lovelies & welcome to the new folks. I am so touched by your kind messages about, well everything really! Love ya!

Travel - I miss it. That feeling of stepping out into the world with nothing but a small bag, a spark of curiosity and blind faith that things would just work out.

No maps, no GPS, no endless scrolling for “top ten things to do” lists…just my instincts, my paintbrushes and the stubborn belief that I could find beauty wherever I went.

I funded much of my travel with art and other skills. I painted murals that stretched across walls and landscapes that captured the breath of a place. I’d arrive in a town with little more than a few coins in my pocket and a tube of paint. Sharing art is a time when likings are made and it is easy to make friends and be welcomed.

I wasn’t running away; I was running toward something. The world felt so impossibly big and my little Scottish town so impossibly small. I craved wonder. I wanted to be awestruck, humbled, overwhelmed by the sheer scale of things I didn’t yet understand.

And I was. Whether it was walking aimlessly through villages where I couldn’t read the signs, bartering art for food or shelter, or simply standing at the edge of an unfamiliar ocean, I was filled with a kind of joy that was pure and uncomplicated.

But now? Now the world feels complicated. Travel feels like an indulgence for the rich or the fit…preferably both. Train fares could bankrupt a monarch and even the budget airlines want your life savings and half your dignity just to get a carry-on bag aboard. And then there’s Parkinson’s, my ever-present, fuckmonkey sidekick. It doesn’t travel light. It demands meds, comfort and enough mental bandwidth to manage its unpredictable tantrums.

The question I wrestle with is whether I could still do it. Could I wander with no plan, no backup and only a small bag to my name? Could I trust the world to meet me halfway, the way it always did before? Or am I fooling myself, trying to fit the wide-eyed adventurer I was into the less predictable, shakier version of myself I’ve become?

And yet, I think about the joy of those days and I want to believe it’s still possible. Could I trade murals for moments? Could I show up in some remote corner of the world and barter my art again? Maybe. Maybe not. But the bigger question is: do I have the courage to try?

I’ve been grappling with this idea of enoughness lately. Is it enough to sit still and paint the world from memory, or does my heart still need to wander? Does the wonder I once sought exist only in the far-flung corners of the world, or could I find it in smaller, quieter moments closer to home?

For those of you in the States, today is Thanksgiving. While I don’t celebrate it myself, I know it’s a day for gathering, for gratitude, and sometimes for the chaos of family and sticky cranberry sauce. For those of you with Parkinson’s, or any other unwelcome houseguest in your body, it can also be a day where things go a bit sideways. Maybe your hands won’t play ball with the cutlery. Maybe the meds don’t kick in quite when they should. Maybe the stress of trying to appear “fine” for others drains every ounce of energy you have.

And that’s okay. It really is. Your worth isn’t tied to how steady your hands are, how put-together you look, or whether you make it through dinner without spilling something. If you’re reading this, you are enough. Whether you’re navigating airports, crowded dining rooms, or just another day, you’re doing the best you can with the cards you’ve been dealt. And that’s more than enough.

So wherever you are, whether you’re celebrating or not, take a moment to be kind to yourself. Even if Parkinson’s is being a pain in the arse. Even if the world feels a little too big or a little too small. Take a breath. Remind yourself that there’s still wonder to be found, even if it doesn’t look like it did before.

with love

E xxx

P.S. I am creating a Handbook for Parkinson’s - filled with humour, tips and tricks to navigate this shit-show…please send me any thoughts, tips, ideas and definitely rude and funny stories and I’ll include them! Hit reply to this mail :)