I'm Wheelie Tired 🛞😴

Where Emma is so tired she can't finished a sente...

Hello and welcome. One of you beauties must have mentioned, shared or bribed some folk into subscribing to this letter, thank you! If you are new here - hold on for dear life - particularly to any beverage you might have.

Well, as stated, I’m exhausted. This time it’s not just Parkinson’s which makes for an exciting change.

My youngest daughter is fake-eyelash deep in her prelim exams. These are the pretendy ones before the real deal in May. And oh my lord, has there been stress?! Yes, dearest reader, yes there has. Mainly due to the appalling uselessness of the school - ‘here to support children’ my ass.

However, you are not here to read my rants about the failure of the education system. You are here to have important questions answered. Namely, why are you so exhausted, Emma and what the hell do we do about it?

I am tired because I realise that I can’t handle it when the rest of the world needs me to step up. I am tired because I only have enough in the tank (on a good day) for myself. I am tired because I beat myself up about not being un-tired* enough.

*Not the right word but the right sentiment.

Things that have made me tired this week:

• 3-4 hours sleep per night..which is quite good but still not enough

• pain

• being woken at strange hours by a teen stressing out

• watching disturbing tv, very good but phew (Adam Curtis, Happy Valley)

• pain

• reading a very emotive book that I didn’t finish…(now I understand properly what it means to be triggered)

• housework…it can kill you!

• panicking teen when school fucks up prelim times/papers/days

• nightmares

• too cold

• tired/stressed/grumpy teen taking it out on bad-mum who doesn’t feed the correct dinner

• pain

• painting a picture for a friend’s 50th - I didn’t stop at one. When I get the paint fever it gets a little out of hand.

And the rest of normal living. As you can see it hasn’t been a BIG week or any major events. But I’m floored.

Chronic illness is a selfish little bitch. She hogs your attention and gets all possessive when you want to spend your energy on others.

I don’t have to tell you how frustrating it is to just run out of juice!

My solution has been to buy a luxurious silk dressing gown (hark at her!) off eBay and by the time you are reading this I shall be wrapped in soft loveliness, a glass of red in hand and listening to the talented Irvine Welsh on the Idler.

Take care, my darlings and rest where you can

with love

Emma x

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I found these interesting things in the garbage can of the net:

• Need some motivation to exercise? Walk to Mordor with this mad little app.

• Guido van Duin creates funny reels on Instagram about his Parkinson’s.

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I’m curious how many of you are medicated, I currently am not. Feel free to contact me directly with your thoughts.