You mocha me crazy...
Where Emma tries to do everything at once
This week has been a whirl, a tsunami of highs. And of course, that means a dollop of Parkinson’s symptoms. Shake it up, baby.
When you receive your diagnosis for something degenerative like Mr P. and the doctor gives you a timescale the normal reaction is something like:
Holy-shit Batman, I’ve got 5+ years to achieve EVERYTHING!!!
Followed by a general collapse due to the impossibility of the task in hand, and the fact that you have just discovered your life is changed forever.
I have to admit I’m just over 4 years into my official diagnosis (although, I had symptoms for years) and there is a significant decline in my abilities. I am afraid I will run out of time. I waste time (ironically) worrying about not being able to finish my life’s work, whatever the hell that is! Resistance is futile.
In fact, it’s downright foolish. Living with a sense of urgency can do a number on my mental and physical health long-term. Largely I think this sense of running out of time is an anxiety symptom of the disease. And like all anxiety, it needs a kind but firm hand.
So, what can I do? I need to train myself to let go of my obsession with not having enough minutes or days (let’s not get into the fatalistic months and years chatter!)
And then realise that watching the hours go by isn’t as detrimental as it seems. I start by letting go of the idea of wasted time. If I’m spending Friday night Netflixing (is that a word?) in bed, then I’m resetting my body and brain after a crazy week, which will help me own my Monday. Maybe 🤞🏻
We all know that Parkinson’s is a fickle sod, so letting go of the idea of a certain rigid outcome is helpful. Like everything Parky, it needs to be uncurled, loosened off and stretched a bit to improve.
I’d love to hear how you cope with the prospect of the future. Drop a reply!
P.S I do reply to all the emails and messages…eventually!