Hello lovelies, thank you for all your seasonal wishes and love. I hope you have over-indulged and in need of a serious detox!

My wonderful family has spoilt and showered me with the most glorious gifts. All things designed to make my life easier: a shiny new kindle to see me through the witching hours, delicious bath fancies, sparkly earrings to wear even on the stuck-in-bed-feeling-sorry-for-myself. I am lucky.

One gift, in particular, was far beyond expectation. This velvet jumpsuit.

For the first time in living memory, my darling daughters had paid attention to something I said. (Reader dearest, I did not faint. But it was a close thing…had a stiff gin for good measure.) I had mentioned in passing that I thought this was the perfect party piece for me; soft, stylish but not fussy, can be worn with flats and has pockets. Seriously, pockets in women’s clothing are rarer than rocking horse crap.

Anyway, I thought no more about it. Until Christmas morning. Ta-DA! Wonderful present. Made all the more special as Lily is now earning and it was the first big present she’s been able to buy for me from her own cash - cue awwws.

I am excited to wear it for Hogmanay (proper New Year, for my non-UK readers) But last night I woke with the 3 am fears.

How the hell am I going to navigate the loo?

This item has a zip opening…at the back. My less-than-dexterous arms are going to struggle. Stretching, reaching, zip getting stuck, oh and that funny hook buttony bit. It also means undressing the whole top half, balancing on the loo with ten tonnes of soft, heavy, slippy fabric in my arms so it doesn’t pool at my feet. I don’t know about you, parky chums, but wiping is already quite difficult. Oh, fun. Then re-dressing hoping I don’t land head first in the loo…at least before I’ve flushed.

We are hosting a party at home which does make it somewhat easier. I think the shine of New Year might tarnish after I have asked every member of the party to help me undress so I can pee! Which will be a frequent event. Thanks, Parkinson’s. Oh, and I suspect I might be more than a bit merry 🥂🍾

Wishing you and yours a glorious Hogmanay!

with love

Emma xxx