Well, thank you so much for the birthday wishes via Twitter and email, even before this letter has landed! You are officially darlings. 😘

✍︎

As regular readers know I’m a cantankerous bugger when it comes to celebrations. On one hand, I adore an excuse for good food, great booze and excellent company. But if it’s scheduled, organised or in the calendar then it gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Birthday time is right at the top of that list. Thankfully I am of an age (46?*)where I can duck out and I have a hide-in-the-most-inhospitable-part-of-the-planet plan for my 50th.

So, now all my new readers will be like ‘whoa, who is this ungrateful birthday hating bitch?’ The regulars here will just be like ‘Oh yeah, she’ll get over it…keep reading.’

*Much to the consternation of my children I’m never quite sure what my age is.

I know many of you reading this will be like me and not enjoy your birthdays. I get accused of being vain and worrying about getting old. But given I have Parkinson’s ageing is the least of my worries! I prefer myself as I get older, wrinkles and all.

It’s more that I’m not naturally an extrovert. Sure I can be honest with you guys, make jokes about awful things, bare my innermost. But in the great internet tradition…I’m safe here behind the screen. I don’t do performance naturally. And birthdays do seem to be a lot about spotlight stuff. The expectation to have a good birthday is way too high for a normal human to function. 

As an adult, I do find it hard when people ask me what I want for my birthday. Erm. As an adult, I generally buy what I need and want. If you can’t think of some small thing that you’d like to indulge me with I’m not about to ask for something! I’m a simple soul and I can hazard that most of you would have the best idea of what to get me. (It’s wine, flowers and/or books)

I am completely grateful for all the love, gifts and thoughts that my friends, family and strangers send me every year. I know how incredibly privileged I am. And incidentally, I got wine, flowers and books because I have the best family and friends. And no fuss was made.

What I am trying to convey is that is it OK not to be into this stuff and absolutely OK to do it your own way.

With love

Emma xxx