Discover more from Who Stole My Dopamine?
Where Emma talks creativity.
You are all so lovely and thank you for your feedback…seriously it makes my week!
I wanted to share that I am in the process of writing a book. Yeah, I know a book about Parkinson’s…how uplifting 😝 It’s not all about Mr P though!
My other chronic illness is being creative.
My poor family never get the same meal twice, ever. I don’t follow recipes I just create. My house gets turned upside down with a new look every few weeks. I have a catalogue of artworks, writing, craft, and arty bits to rival the V&A. My brain never stops generating ideas and exploring thoughts. (Yeah, it’s a special hell living with me)
I’ve always been like this and having Parkinson’s hasn’t changed the impulse but the application…well that’s a whole other thing.
The truth is I’m so bone achingly tired that even sitting at the laptop for an hour can have me on my knees. I work from bed - a lot.
I can’t paint on the huge scale I used to, I can’t do anything too intricate, I can’t maintain motivation, and my thoughts are akin to child snot.
What happens when I have to do in-person work? I currently have the luxury of being at home where I can plot my days depending on Mr P.
The remarkable thing about creativity is it is eminently trainable. So I’m starting to train it to be productive when my body and mind have the strength to wield its power. The energy generated by a creative endeavour is restorative and healing. It releases frustration and boy, there are few people more frustrated than those with a chronic illness! Harnessing this energy keeps the mind and body in harmony.
The trick is not to beat yourself up if you don’t achieve as it says in the books. The standard handbook no longer applies. Everymoment with an illness is in sharp focus, magnified, intense.
The dark forces at play will have you believe rest is lazy, that it lacks value, and that it isn’t generative. And yet rest gives us space to daydream, to heal, to ideate, to learn about ourselves and the world. We cannot create well when we are constantly pushing ourselves. Rest. Resist the need to go go go.
I create in smaller doses. Writing is physically easier than painting, and on bad days I can even dictate. Although my Scottish accent and Siri don’t always live in perfect harmony! (Plus Siri is a judgy bitch.)
I still plague my family with surprising dinners and whilst I don’t shift the entire house around anymore - I do dream of it.
P.S. I really need some more friends who love to
drink wine, swear discuss Serie A. Take pity and forward to your friends or arch-nemesis.