Well, hello my lovelies! Can you believe summer has actually arrived in Aberdeen!? How long it lasts is anyone’s guess hahah and a warm welcome to all the new folks here ☺️
As you know I have been building my art business ever since I had the amazing opportunity to use a studio space. I have just held my first solo exhibition and it has been a great success. So essentially up yours Parkinson’s!!
This has, of course, come at a cost…always with the negative waves, Parky. But you understand exhaustion and PD are a special hell.
As a result I have decided to take a slightly different approach with this newsletter. Rather than put myself under pressure every week or so to create a work of genius (ahem) I am going to make something entirely different!
“Well, come on, Emma - don’t leave us in suspense!”
<drumroll>
I’m releasing a Who Stole My Dopamine monthly diary!
Every day or so I shall commit my Parkinson’s thoughts to paper and present it to you as fait accompli last Thursday of the month.
That means you will get only one letter from me per month but it will be much longer and fuller and possibly madder.
Let’s get real, it means less clutter in your emails, a more accurate view of how Parkinson’s changes day to day and less stress for me.
I hope you will be happy with this shift. Just to convince you here is a sample of how it will go:
3am - Last Tuesday
Nightmares wake me. Stagger to loo, bash elbow, urg.
And then I remember the contents of my nightmares. Oh god, no! No, nononononoonoooooooooo!
Erotic dreams are one thing.
Erotic dreams about Keir Starmer1. NO
I mean it poses so many questions - not least the state of my brain. But seriously is there on iota of erotic-sexiness to that man? Maybe he’s good with his….nope! Do not even imagine.
Wednesday post-coffee/pre-wine
So the coffee is wearing off and the apathy is in full swing. Great, only I have an exhibition to hang and curate. And frankly, or apathetically, I don’t give a shit.
This (and the pain) is one of the worst symptoms of this disease for me. It’s a grey no-mans land of ashes in the mouth and emptiness in the heart. For someone who creates and attempts to make people laugh it’s weird. I can’t really feel much of that myself…just don’t get the ol’ dopamine rewards.
Oh well keep trying, Emma, keep trying.
Wednesday post-wine
Well bugger me I did it! Actually managed to curate, hang and entertain an opening of my very own exhibition. Still not feeling much in the reward boost but everyone was incredibly nice and supportive. I do like that it frees me up to create new works and new directions. The creativity bit still functions thank goodness! In fact it might be in overdrive…or is that the wine consumption? Who can tell?
Sunday all day
Absolutely buggered.
Monday
Blimey June is moving too fast for me. Parkinson’s likes it slow. But now the rush of the exhibition is over I feel I can calm it down a little. Only life just isn’t that forgiving is it?
Lots of people asking if I run workshops. I wonder if I can manage something so intense. I could imagine Parkinson’s delighting in throwing a spanner in the works with that one. But no crazy random symptoms - no gain, right?
(Any one with any experience doing something like this drop me a line with survival suggestions.)
Wednesday afternoon before wine
Closing day of the exhibition and it’s been wild. Sales and lots of people popping and just lovely. I’m very touched.
But also am feeling relief that I can go back to normal and hide in my corner of the studio and simply beat the shakes into submission and paint.
Wednesday - wine time
Only…
I have been given an extension as the studio manager wants something up on the walls until the next artists arrive.
Well I did want maximum exposure…
Careful what you wish for!!
Cheers!
Alright my darlings, I hope you will enjoy the proposed new format! As ever leave a comment and let me know your thoughts.
with love
E xx
The current British Prime Minister - a very dull man.
Love your journal. I enjoyed hearing of your daily joys and battles, it allows me to embrace my own. I went to a local art store yesterday mostly because it was in the same area of town as my hearing aid provider. I think I'll take a watercolor class!!
Haha just saw the footnote...